Nature vs. The World vs. Ourselves

What a week it has been, we are still reeling from the shock that is God’s and nature’s power. Japan had an earthquake measuring 8.9 on the Richter scale. In Kenya that is something we cannot fantom because it has never happened here or to someone we know. Suffice to say if it were to happen in Kenya with our non existent emergency response and politicians who like to milk every sad situation for political gain....tsk!tsk! You be the judge. Furthermore before Japan could catch there breath and take stock of the effects of the earthquake, a tsunami descended on them and wiped out literally villages and towns. It is said there is a village of 15,000 people missing. Let me break it down for you, it’s like the inhabitants of buru buru woke up one day and just up and disappeared. The photos are devastating in effect and makes you want to go into your pocket and donate to the red cross or help people. It’s times like this that we want to go deeper and ask why? Our prayers go out to the people of Japan.

So Libya is still on fire and the chap who wanted to be King of Africa Col. Gadaffi has decided he would rather let the country burn than relinquish power there by proving that once in power you are in it for yourself not for the idiots who may have helped you get there. Remember he came to power in a coup i.e by the gun and by the gun he will be ousted. The world has been watching and since Libya has oil the coalition has decided to bomb Gadaffi (read US, France, Canada and Britain) to “free the people”. I see them only freeing the oil fields. CNN had a stuttering figure over the weekend that it costs France $1 million dollars per tomahawk missile fired and about 2 dozen or so were used over the weekend. That is a colossal figure by any standard. That should be money that can be used to not only sustain and help out other conflict areas in Africa but also feed and reestablish infrastructure that was damaged and thereby helping the people not only the diamond mines and oil we constantly seek. Imagine if that money went to Somalia, Sudan, Ivory Coast etc, where would those countries be today.

UDM a couple of weeks ago claimed they are Part of ODM and want to sue them. Why cant people understand that once you are sacked or not needed, you need to go. I think it is time for us to man up and stop playing the Raila fobia card and do real politics of issues otherwise shut up. On that note Kenyans should ignore politicians without real issues and the media should give them a blackout for a week iliewe funzo.

Wikileaks is still at it and making us aware of the hypocrisy that is our politicians and what they think. Everyone from the AG and Kalonzo to Ngilu and Karua has had there 15 minutes of gaffs with wikileaks. I think one of the most damming was Karuas wikileaks ship which came to dock with alarming revelations that she was one of the master minds of the standard media attack a couple of years ago. It further claimed that she did not want to admit to the police they were involved and wanted more to be done to muffle the media. This is from the same person who now try’s to use the same media she tried to muffle to further her cause in pursuit of the highest office. I'll let you be the judge of this one because as the saying goes pretenders are worse than murders.

In other news the date of reckoning is fast approaching for a season of Ocampo 6. While some say they are ready and others who claimed they were ready and willing now claim they have exams and cannot make it or the fare is too high. Listen KCPE and KCSE are conducted once a year...and furthermore kindly recall loose lips sink ships...need I say more? My question is this of the 6, why do we only have 2 idiots going around being abusive and complaining the loudest instead of walking into the Hague and convincing us of your innocence from where it counts?

Cairo is the largest city in Africa with a population of 9.2 million people. If a city of 9.2 million can force the hand of it's president who they considered a dictator, why cant a country of 40 million people stand up and say enough is enough, either do right by the country and it's citizens or take early retirement. Start implementing the constitution, sack the idiots you employ who are corrupt, eat humble pie moreover sack the few Hague 6 still employed by your government till they are vindicated. As Ruto keeps telling us “mambo ya Hague ni madogo tuu”, an indication of what he thinks of the process and the fact that many Kenyans lost there lives needlessly.

There are more serious issues in Kenya with over 6 million people unemployed, price of food stuff and fuel going up and a drought looming and showing us the ineptitude of the people governing us. Fight poverty, stop corruption and impunity and, create jobs other wise as the song goes “under the mango tree..., is where we will find you...., under the mango tree...., is where you will be...

Attitude Kenya: EMPTY DRUMS MAKE THE MOST NOISE

Attitude Kenya: EMPTY DRUMS MAKE THE MOST NOISE

EMPTY DRUMS MAKE THE MOST NOISE

It’s been a while since I scribbled something on this blog and as one of my friends recently made me aware, many believe it or not read my rambling and have a good hearty laugh about it with their colleagues in the office or in the bars.

Since I last had a chat with you the alcohol ban war has intensified and at the same time slowed down, meaning we got a reprieve then it was yanked and now we are in limbo as to weather we can have a drink while having a meal or not. Something to which some of my mates would describe as a serious mal nomaly because it is wrong to eat on an “empty stomach”. Why are we being punished because a few people or rather, some village has refused to do it’s duty and repopulate and do conjugal?

Recently we have been treated to last comic rallies sponsored by our politicians. The level of abuse and mediocrity that we have witnesses has hopefully opened our eyes to the kind of politicians we have. In society we are taught to have a modicum of decorum in both our thoughts and actions. We may conjure some thoughts and ideas that are provocative and may voice them only in our minds or houses but are not meant to be spoken in public but alas this evaded our so called leaders who are as crude as they come and hurl abuses that border on ethnic chauvinism, intolerant and hatred. If you have not ascended to the seat you so covert and speak in such a manner, who tells you Kenyans will be ready to put you in the house on the hill and withstand your abuses? The he said she said back and fourth that went on after, does not make a difference. You acted like a group of children when caught doing something wrong and want to pass the blame to another. If being responsible and taking the high road is beneath you at the moment, what happens when you have the full state machinery at your disposal and no one to stop you from showing us your arrogance? For the record even cause and effect retribution is still a disqualification for the CEO position of Kenya.

The Arab countries are still at it and raising the price of oil indirectly as a result. First there was Tunisia, then came Egypt and now Libya, with Yemen trying and the rest holding their breath, who is next? I came across a hilarious text sent then, stating “dear fellow Arabs, what happened in Egypt stays in Egypt, signed Arab dictators” apparently that was not heeded and the fire continues. In Kenya, social media decided to see what kind of clout it could muster and told us to honk our horns on Feb 28 at 1p.m then it turned to sing the national anthem, a feat I was shocked to see most Kenyans fail. Most of us do not know the national anthem, at least I sang and got lost in the second stanza which is not an excuse as I fall in the same miserable bunch of shallow Kenyans but I could see some people mumbling in the first stanza. We all need to download it and be made to sing it every time we are arrested by the police for any infringement. The social media then got a rude shock when people there after posted photos of them singing at the allocated date and time then started posting and tweeting, what next after this? Let me lend my voice to that chain of thought and say do you think the Baks or Agawambo or the parliamentarians cared or were trebling? Thus WHAT NEXT?

The DRC Congo has also been G4Sed. They have become a victim of another Goldenberg saga by Kenyans, of Kshs 8.6 billion stolen at the JKIA airport even before the KRA were even aware that such a colossal amount of gold was even present at the airport let alone the country. We then find out that some of our hyenas in higher offices and connected ones, are involved to the extent the Congo president Kabila made a trip to plead with Kibaki to tell his goons to return some chums so that they can at least by milk and bread as the form of githeri in Congo is monotonous. Give me 1% of that figure and see self actualization happen as I turn the amount into a retirement fund.

In other news one Kalonzo is off again on a second round of “talks” to convince the world that we, who did not and still do not have the capacity to try our own politicians let alone believe in our judiciary system, want to take a crack at it with the Ocampo 6 trials in Nairobi and not the Hague. Reason being it is better to be tried for crimes committed in the city in the sun rather than the city in the cold snow. My question is this, were the victims of PEV consulted as to this course of action or is it just to benefit the political elite and those who think they should be “presidents” due to the peasant mentality instead of reason and advancement in Kenya as a whole? Conversely, before the Kati Kati fellow left, he had been hogging the spotlight with his shenanigans and utterances pre 2007 general elections as he sipped chai with the US ambassador. Wikileaks recently gave Kenyans a rare insight into the mind of the man who claims to be able to lead Kenyans as “they were meant to be lead”. He likened Raila to Hugo Chavez a Chilean dictator of ill repute, referred to the baks as ill and mentally unstable fellow who needs to be in Mathare (coincidentally I hope you saw the CNN expose on Mathare last week) and, referred to himself as the better leader of the Kikuyus and Kenya at large. Yes, you did read that correctly, the Kambaa chap wanted to be the leader of two tribes on the way to being the Kenyan leader. He even went as far as saying if it did not go his way, he would be a spoiler and stand his ground until given the VP seat. A feat he adequately played and used as a bargaining tool while Kenya was on fire and his fellow Kenyans were dying. If this so called saved person can act like he did, imagine the atrocities he would commit if given the highest office in the land? A man who cannot sacrifice his ego for the betterment of Kenya, his fellow citizen, peace and stability in my opinion is not fit to lead even cockroaches in his house.

ODM has decided to discipline some of their wayward MP’s by threatening to expel them from the party, I say good riddance. How do you have employees who do not want to work for the good of the company but still want to enjoy the perks? I say get rid of the bunch, move on and show Kenya that you are ready to take the bull by the horns and do what is right for a change. I once said a wife cannot always be packing her bags and threatening to leave you everyday and you sit still looking at her actions. PNU on the other hand has joined forces with the ODM rebels and the deputy PM Ruto who now serves as a “consultant advisor” to the president. The farce that is Kenyan politics makes some of the sitcoms we watch look like a beginners play.

Lastly Makadara MP went to the bunge last week in shades and eye rings (bling) that not only raised alarms concerning his mental state and to what level he respects the house but, to show his arrogance to the house business and the people who elected him. No sooner had we had a laugh at his expense, we also saw him having a shouting competition with one Esther Murungi who went to distribute maragwe in his constituency and got a rude awakening by the MP. He shouted her and her team down and chased them away to go feed convicts with her beans, she was last seen running to her car and saying even she can shout loudly if demanded. Someone should tell Sonko parliament is not Skylux or Bacchus, grow up and represent the people who voted you in but, yet again Makadara you get the hooligan you wanted and voted for. Lesson here is be careful of the idiot you put to lead you.

As Martha Karua told Kenyans “ stop being over tolerant and force leaders to perform their duties”.

SHORT MEMORIES, BIG MOUTHS

Politicians are all idiots in my opinion. Kalonzo told us a couple of weeks ago that the committees set up to debate the controversial nominations by the president or should I say Muthaura was wasted tax payers money and, this is forgetting that he spent 31 million a few weeks ago. The hypocrisy that he spews. In my opinion Kalonzo should be the first one to the Hague because he is yet again employing double standards and wants to capitalize where he has not reaped.

Marende made a ruling that should make Kenyans stand up and take notice that there still exists a few people who can be counted on to fight for our rights. Even the AG who is the chief legal counsel to the government and the president stood firm with the court saying the judicial nominations were unconstitutional and still we had people standing and saying Raila is the cause. Let me ask this, when was the last time you turned on the news and it was not Raila phobia or a group of MPs cowering in their back yards yelling at the top of their voices and chest thumping that he is killing their chances or their tribal leaders chances of being president? What happened to agenda politics and issues that affect the people? Kalonzo says we have a short memory but does he recall giving 50 cents arguments in parliament when questioned by Khalawale? Does he recall that at one time Raila was the only in parliament saying local tribunal and they said he was trying to shield his people? Does he recall the chants from MPs in the house saying lets not be vague lets go to the Hague? Short memory my ass. The geezers that vote him back in to parliament truly deserve the hyena they received. A man who after more than 27 years in parliament has never laid tarmac in his constituency even when he was at the hight of power, how do u expected a conceited fellow like this to have your interests at heart.

Kaparo then lent his voice to the people and said, “If the 222 of you keep quite then the president and PM would not make a 10th of the noise. Don't pretend you care about the common man when you are just thinking of your stomach”.

The arab world is ablaze. People's revolutions have swept like wildfire, and fixtures previously presumed unshakeable such as Hosni Mubarak of Egypt have been forced into abject capitulation. It started with Tunisia, went to Egypt, then jumped across to threaten the oil-rich Gulf State of Bahrain (the owners of our Gregory Konchellah's world athletics championship double-golds). Where the fall of the monarchy might trigger a domino effect across the wealthy western-leaning feudal kingdoms from the tiny Emirates to Saudia Arabia, Algeria, Morocco, Yemen, and even the stern islamic republic of Iran are all quaking at the rise of people power. but none more so than the Libyan Jamahiriya of the grand revolutionary himself, Muammar Gaddafi.

The revolutinonary-in-chief being consumed by the revolution has a poetic tinge to it, as have people's republics being overthrown by the people. In spite of this, there is something missing in the great puzzle. It would be naive to assume we're witnessing the birth of a people-led democracy in the arab world. Conspicuously silent in all this are the voices of extremist islam. One hope vacuums are not being created to be filled by violent religious dictatorships.

A FAMOUS BRIDE

This year I am getting rid of all unnecessary refuse. Meaning anything that does not add value to my life has to go. I hear that is what they call living a clutter free life. 2010 I had blessings upon blessings, opportunities taken and some wasted but I still made mistakes and blunders which I shall not disclose *self slap*. For 2011, I retire from being a love doctor and attempting to solve all manner of people’s emotional problems, and I'm definitely going to surprise many people. So what seems to be the problem when it comes to our two principles and getting rid of dead weight. I understand there are no permanent friends or enemies in politics but when you eat it does not mean that I have to go to the toilet. My analogy is thus, as a wife you cannot keep packing your clothes and threatening to leave your husband every day for 3 years. If you are tired, there is the door. Leave and forever hold your peace.

I once had a status update on my Facebook that was coined by Rennie Ellis and stated " Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging." That piece summaries what having a beer is to Kenyans at the end of a long and hard working day. A privilege that has been taken from us without thought, apology or explanation. The feeble attempts we have received are like the stories your parents used to tell you as a kid and when you asked why, all you got was the provable because I said so and I am the adult. One question i do have for the makers of this backward and self serving law is this, what happens to institutions that were there before the schools i.e the bar that has always operated and employs people both directly and indirectly through sales and distribution, do we tell all this people i am sorry but you being jobless and unemployment rising as the recession begins to recede (incidentally defies economic trends and patterns) is none of our fault. Stop being lazy and relying on alcohol (pun intended) and go get a job.

Now top a company that has gained special status in my life and the a 1001 canes for there deliberate and methodical pyramid scheme like behavior. Zuku and Wananchi Group. How does someone pay you 2 months ago and to date getting a straight answer concerning services that were not rendered is more complex than trying to figure out if women are from mars and men from Venus shit. Let me tell you a story as you munch on your popcorn, there exists many ISP and internet service providers who I believe are trying and in todays buyers market I reserve the right to move on to the next if services are not rendered in a timely and orderly manner.

Once upon a time there was a company called Wananchi Group that had a subsidiary called Zuku. Zuku was an internet and cable television company or so the advertising seemed to suggest to the gullible public and myself. They marketed and sent a lady to come and spin a yarn about there beauty and court me, and what a seduction it was. They then sent a young man to discuss the terms of dowry and mode (mainly payment and in cash) for the bride that was named fiber optics and cable TV. We had all heard of this beauty and wanted to see for ourselves what the hulla ball was about. Once the terms were agreed and wedding date set, I settled back to wait on the date with anticipation and glee of how I would ravish her and enjoy to my fill as I drunk from that seemingly bottomless cup. But alas it was not meant to be. Thus began the trial and tribulations of trying to find out what could have happened to my rose. Two months later I get connected by chance and the grace of God and then some fellow calls you and acts like he has done you a favor and you should marry him. What bollocks. I am still looking to have a chat with their HR and Training manager concerning the monkey behavior exhibited by the staff.

Moving on swiftly and leaving the bitter taste in my mouth behind, How can the so called 7th richest person in Kenya SK Macharia be declared bankrupt? Weeks later I am still in shock. It goes to show that the rich also cry or is it have issues. He controls and enjoys the biggest share of the media cake in Kenya and I think that is how he came to owe so much money. He lost a court battle that requires him to pay, get this 394 million to 3 state corporations KBC, CCK, Telkom Kenya and another 30 million to transport company Ocean Freight. As a result auctioneers had been instructed to seize the company’s moveable property to recover the debt. Since they are still on air, I assume they sorted it out and renewed by faith in being rich and lazy in Kenya.

BTW I thought Telkom was bought by the French or was that a rumor and they are still government owned?