A Naked Kenyan Man Jumps Into Field And Interrupts A Rugby World Cup Game In New Zealand

A Naked Kenyan Man Jumps Into Field And Interrupts A Rugby World Cup Game In New Zealand

All for the love of the game.

Inflation, lies and liars

It's been a while since I sat down to rumble and in that time a lot has changed. Not only is maize that is used to make unga ya ugly the staple meal in Kenyan homes reached an unattainable level but, following in its foot steps is the commodity sugar. Sugar has reached the price of Ksh.220 a kilo and continues to rise due to the fact factories do not have enough cane to grind into sugar. The scarcity is caused by the millers not paying farmers on time for their produce and as a result farmers have shied away from farming the commodity.  The farmers are paid at the connivence of the companies at a time when the money is of no need to the poor farmers, their starving families and uneducated children chased away from school due to late payment of fees. Sugar is a key ingredient in some of our daily intakes more than we realize e.g making bread, cakes, sweets, ice cream, jam, mixing with our tea and coffee, etc. Try drinking porridge without sugar, the taste is akin to drinking the dreaded Scotts Emulsion Cod Liver Oil and trust you me, it is an acquired taste. The very thought of which makes me break into fear induced sweat and panic that my mother is around the corner with a spoonful. Inflation is still rising and rampant, fuel is more expensive than beer and the government still thinks expanding the constituencies and number of mpigs coming to parliament in the next elections plus the failure of the current jokers to pay taxes is the norm in its day to day activities of hoodwinking the public, from this self actualization money making pyramid scheme packaged as helping the Wanjikus and Otienos. The time of reckoning is near, fool me once shame on me, fool me twice….Well I hope Kenyans get the picture.

Rumor has it that corporate Kenya is just but a joke. A couple of weeks ago, the great initiative Kenyans4Kenya (K4K) had a corporate pledge day and raised over 300million in a matter of hours for the starving Kenyans at a Serena Breakfast. It now turns out that some companies were all but empty chest thumpers in the end. They unashamedly basked in the boastful public relations they got and slithered back to their shells. They issued dummy checks and no real money to-date. I hope they style up and do what is right sooner rather than later and the K4K chaps publish they're names in the papers. As Spike Lee said, "Do the right thing". Meanwhile, confusion still reigns in the cabinet. The government approved deployment of the military and NYS to distribute relief food at a time when Alfie claimed no one was dying from hunger in Kenya but, the minister for special projects Esther Murugi said relief food should not be distributed because some unscrupulous individuals in the government were cashing in by stealing and reselling the relief food to the general public. My question is this Esther, if you were the CEO of a company, do you stop selling your product to the customer because some of your employees are taking advantage and stealing the products and reselling or do you simply fire the said employees and reign in the rest with tough measures? Its like one of my friends said previously, our leaders simply lack the intellectual capacity or aptitude to comprehend and avert the crisis. The term fix the problem not the blame simply surmises this situation.

My friend Raila J otherwise known as Junior got married this past weekend at Windsor country club, congratulations to him and his new wife Yvonne and, welcome to the club. Drinks on me at our usual corner hide away when you come back from the honeymoon. The saga on the side was the main attraction to this event. The clamor for the wedding invitations was ridiculous as I heard people wanted to be seen attending a political elite wedding not because they were happy for the couple but, because it was a social event of epic proportions where in attendance were retired President Moi affectionately known as Nyayo aka the Professor of Politics, the new AG Githu Muigai, mpigs and ministers, among other honored guests. With a guest list of about 1200 people, there were people who tried calling him for wedding invitations who I hope had the decency to at least buy them a decent gift as they start their new life together. Weddings have become a social extravaganza that does not take into account what the couple want or the fact that people are coming together to share in the joy of the momentous occasion, but rather a feeding occasion where people come and eat your pilau for free and demand a beverage or ten without chipping in with a present for the bride and groom.

The Hague show is back, *say it like The Chapelle Show* and this time it is more serious plus the cast are certainly on edge and realize the gravity of the situation. Some have already tried the usual Kenyan political speeches like it will make a difference but alas were shut down quickly by the no nonsense judge and a bored Ocampo. Rutos pleas for mercy were just a joke. He thought he was applying to the mercy academy, Ruto fight and go down swinging not sniveling it was not me after showing us false bravado back home. The Oscar for the best comment has got to be from Ruto and his team, " The devil was clearly in Kenya at the time of PEV but not at the. Invitation of Ruto" classic sound bite. To further make things worse, the kijana with the brand Kenya hat and the dwarf (no pun intended) were shown last night on citizen TV trying to enjoy their Sunday at the Hague mean while trying to show the public how miserable they are. The result was comedy to rival Mr. Bean. Ruto claimed he went looking for a church that Sunday morning, namely the AIC Church. Now I'm no rocket scientist Mr. Ruto but AIC means African Inland Church……in Africa, no prizes to guess he did not find one, the idiot. The other piece was him writing his name in the Sand and trying to teach some odiero kids who did not care that he is a heckler back in the Kenyan parliament and officially known as MP or as I like to call them, Mpigs. The icing on the cake was the midget building a sand castle in the sand..HILARIOUS!!!!! I know PR works very well and Gina Din can spin it well but come on fellows, if that was your attempt to show Kenyans that things are quagmire there, you failed miserably. All we got was a Paswa moment of epic proportions.

Soccer season is finally back with the start of the EPL and all I can say is shame on Wenger and the Arsenal supporters. In case you don't live on this planet earth, the red machine affectionately known as the red devils aka Manchester United thrashed into silence the ever blank shooting gunners by 8 goals to 2. The number of excuses I have heard in the past week from arsenal supporters is ridiculous, at least get Alfie and his people to help you get a spin after that gigantic loss to the great Manchester United. It has spawned many a joke including "I was alive when arsenal were hit 8-2 by Man Utd" and " if I had a child when arsenal last won a trophy or saucer, he/she would be in standard 1" among many more hilarious and witty comments. If you listened to Maina Kageni on his morning how the following day on Classic FM, as an arsenal supporter, suicide alert would have been the order of the day. This season might see one of my dreams realized and that is for Arsenal to go play in the second division otherwise referred to as the coke a cola cup.

In other news, Kenyan athletes have decided to take off the gloves a year before the Olympics and have served notice in the recently concluded Degue world championships in Korea. The ladies and gentlemen of athletics did Kenya and Africa proud by being number 3 and number 1 in the medals table respectively. We even got to the finals of the 4*400 meters men and came out 6th due to a Barton handing over Faux Pax but we'll get it right the next time. Kudos to the Kenyan athletes, keep flying the flag and making us proud. In other sports matters, Harambee stars won Guinea Bissau in a match they were not expected to win and the goal by Oliech showed just why he's a world class striker. Now all we have to do is defeat our neighbors from across the lake, the Migingo and Ugingo snatching banana republic of Uganda and we will have qualified for the 2012 Africa cup of nations next year.

I finally tried the KFC fad that has taken over Nairobi. Seeing I'm lazy I did not have to brave the ridiculous lines that are still there to-date almost a month after opening but do I say. The chicken is nothing special although well done and the pieces sizable, the fries expensive although in my opinion steers still has the best fries but in meager portions compared to KFC and, the chicken burgers are to die for. Kudos to KFC for hoodwinking Kenyans but, when you are averaging close to Ksh.1 million a day in turnover for a fast food franchise, you are certainly doing something right and should be recommended for a job well done. Good on you Gavin.

For some of us (Rugby Fanatics) our summer of love is finally here. The Rugby World Cup RWC 2011 is finally here and starts on 9th September at 11a.m. It is a month of top flight rugby where the gladiators take on each other to see who is the best in the world and be crowned Kings of Rugby with the reward being winning the prestigious William Ebbs trophy. If you happen to see less of me in the following month, it's not because I'm holed away supporting my beloved Kenya Harlequins while sipping on my favorite beverage Johnny Walker, although the Kenya 7's circuit commenced 2 weeks ago and Quins are matching on to be Strong Sure Superior, however, i will be holed up in my house or favorite beverage den or rugby club watching the games being screened at ridiculous Kenya times i.e 4a.m, 7a.m or 11a.m in the morning due to time difference with New Zealand. in the words of my friend, Kenya's number one rugby supporter Arigi and the army of rugby fanatics GRRRRR!!!!!! LETS GET IT ON…..!!!!