Kenya is a country of uniqueness. From the people who were once described by the once guru of Kenyan telecommunications the previous CEO of Safaricom, one Michael Joseph as having peculiar calling habits which roughly translates to being peculiar all the time all Kenyan, to our market and business principles which in Kenya means everyone for themselves and how much can I steal while office.
First off, i find this topic very dispecable. Free primary education money went missing, enough said. When we reach the point when we steal from our children and our future, we have clearly lost the plot furthermore sensitivity does not come to mind. The story is that since about 2005, the officials in charge of disbursing the money and making sure it is correctly used, have run amok lining their own pockets with the funds and in the process, raising their middle fingers at our children who we are constantly reminded are the future of the country and will look after us in our old age. Some went as far as setting up bogus schools with school accounts in banks, where the funds were diverted and then used for drinking sprees and taking klandes to Mombasa where lazima chuma ilale ndani. The donors who help us fund this lovely project that was meant to not only raise the levels of literacy in the country but also help us achieve the millennium goals, vision 2030 and set the country into a developed country and not a developing one have decided enough is enough with the white elephant thus demanding the funds be returned. The taps have been cut of and the pipes are dry until such time, we get our act together and return the looted funds. I believe there is a very special hot corner of hell for miscreants like you. To top it off the minister of education Ongeri says he is not resigning and it was not him who stole. Mr. Ongeri, the term honorable truly by passed your understanding. Your docket, your mess, your officials and I agree with the PM, you should have been fired last year in February but as always the Baks was playing politics and being an ass thus we still have a clown handling one of the most important dockets in our government.
Business in Kenya is clearly not for the faint hearted. Many companies have been formed and failed in the first hour let alone the first year. Companies that have in the past come to challenge the monopolies or already existing giants in Kenyan business have tucked tail and left running e.g South African Breweries (SAB) which is now eying a comeback into the market after surprise surprise, being screwed by EABL in Tanzania. It will be a very welcomed move by the consumers especially those that recall the beer wars of the late 90s and early 2000s. My throat gets dry just envisioning the comeback. Another company is Essar Telkom that came and was meant to bring down a peg Safaricom and give Zain or is it Airtel now some competition. But as is evident, the green machine known as “The better option” has fought them off and still is the ahead of the pack while kicking mud in the competitors eyes. Airtel has perfected the art of changing names like underwear but not seems to have a some what stable ship to give the better option a few sleepless nights, while the other player called Orange or chungwa is just bitter and we don't know what they are up to. Rumor has it that Essar better known as YU is secretly looking to sell. Pepsi is also looking to come into the market in a big way and this has the coke marketing department gearing for a war and stepping up their game. As a consumer who is always screwed by providers, let the markets open up with a few more players especially another electricity service provider other than the famed Kenya Lanterns Candles and Paraffin company (KPLC), which is plagued by power blackouts, load shedding and any creative words they want to come up with. They need to style up and provide what they promise without unnecessary down times and the inevitable power blackout when it rains. In the words of STL biashara ni biashara, fanya kazi then bila me this fabricated amounts.
The new Chief Justice Mr. Willy Mutunga has been appointed to office after all the hubbub and circus surrounding his interview including the stud he wears. Speaking of which, how many of us have studs or wore studs and today are still productive Kenyans holding important positions in Companies, industries and government? To truly show his defiance, the CJ decided not to wear the ceremonial robe upon his swearing and a week after taking office has written a letter to the AG stating that judges and judiciary staff who were not paying taxes before should from hence forth do so and back date to when the new constitution came into effect. Kudos Mr. CJ and may you continue shaking the tree until the rotten apples have fallen and the tree is clear of the rot.
FIda was at it recently making a mockery of the process of vetting just because they considered themselves misrepresented. Their claim was that a third of the supreme court was not female, furthermore they claimed there was only one woman on the bench and in addition no one with a disability. Kwani FIDA you think Nancy Barasa is what, a Zebra? If you don't apply for a job, can you sue for not having been given an opportunity? FIDA should try another way and find better ways to raise it’s profile among the donors who fund them and look for money to do something more worth while especially with the elections due mid next year.
The safari rally nick named the world toughest rally is back and growing but not as glamorous as it once was. Who remembers those Easter trips to the country side with the folks as you looked at the cars in awe and chased them around to better view points than the previous one? It was truly a grueling rally that showed everyone who the real makmende safari champion was. Half of the cars that started always broke down due to the harsh terain and the best source of news was the VOK aka KBC and news time was a must so you could see the cars on TV before you go out and make a replica with a coat hanger tied together with bladder. I remember a time when the safari rally had the like of Patrick Njiru, Juha Kankkunen, Miki Biasion, Carlos Sainz, Colin Mc Rae, Shekhar Mehta, Ian Duncan and if you are that old , Joghinder Sing in the 70s. It was the best 4 days of Easter and not over in a matter of hours as is the case today. We even had rally gum chewing gum to commemorate and the flying sausage of Ian Duncan fame. Incidentally, Patrick njiru is coming back out of retirement to compete again, although in a Porsche for the safari classic rally later in the year. I would like to join that team and give them a hand. All the best. This years rally was won by Carl Tundo and Tim Jessop while second place went to a Ugandan driver Jas Mangat and Gihan Desilva and, Ian Duncan did nt disappoint and came in third place. I did not get a chance to relieve my childhood but did however get to view the cars as they passed on ngong road on their way to the spectator stage.
It’s been an interesting two weeks. The budget was read or was it, any way we now have a trillion shilling budget and with it many anomalies as is the norm with chap who never held a job until Moi hooked him up. despite being part of the the family that virtually owns almost everything in Kenya. A few days later and the number of problems and unaccounted for amounts is ridiculous. The gaffs that come from Uhuru and the arrogance is astounding, this geezer hopes to be a Kenyan president and inspire confidence and loyalty yet all that we get is a feeling to urgently take a bamboo stick and cain him repeatedly. Uhuru you are letting down St’ Mary’s alumna with this behavior and looking like you were pulled up and not brought up with a decent education that is the envy of many.
In animal farm for those who have read the classic, there was a pig called Napoleon who took over as the leader and proclaimed, “Some animals are more equal than others” on the farm and thus did very little work or no work at all. That quote has recently been played out in public by the thugs we have in parliament known as our “leaders”. MPs or as a friend of mine fondly refers to them as Mpigs have decided they are more equal than the rest of the wananchi and as such is the case in their deluded minds, paying taxes is beneath them. Some of the Mpigs like John Mbandi of Gwasi went on the google box aka the Telly/TV and said it is unfair and unconstitutional for them to pay taxes while others asked for a payment plan. What a load of bullshit. Which constitution did you guys read? He then went on to further insinuate that if they are made to pay taxes they would hold the country ransom and delay on implementation of the constitution. All I can say is Mr. Mpig, you have lost the plot and the people of Gwasi should stand up and help you visit the lake shores in your retirement campaign. The story that caught me off guard was yet of another Mpig who I did not quite catch his name, proclaiming that it was like daylight robbery. He asked a journalist, how is he meant to survive on a salary of Ksh. 700,000 and yet he has a mortgage of Ksh. 400,000. Are you mad, what do you think the rest of Kenyans do even when we have a loan? What are you buying for that amount and it better be worth it and not some comical yellow colored shack with furniture from kikomba. The PM on the other hand has followed suit and payed taxes amounting to Ksh. 3,400,000, kudos to him and the rest of the MPs who have seen it fit to pay taxes in advance and give the squabbling a miss. Among the Mpigs, some have dared and declared not to pay while some have tried to make it seem like an in-sequential thing that will blow over. one MP and minister for tourism Najib balala has decided that those who have payed the taxes so far are those seeking to run for the big house on the hill. my question is this, did you not also proclaim that you would run for the presidency earlier this year or was that just your usual chest thumping and theatrics of watu wa pwani? Lets see how long this will take and meanwhile the clock is ticking. When will you eventually pay your taxes so you can at least look as serious as Dexter the cartoon character. In other words, utalipa lini? In case you have forgotten, there is a saying that goes, “Empty drums make the loudest noise”. Over to you Balala.
The Harun Mwau saga still continues, he now claims that Obama wants to take away his multi million business empire in the states. It has always been whispered that he was a big time drug dealer and crossing him was like signing your own death certificate in advance. The US government has decided to take him hands on and call him for what they think he is. My two cents worth of advice is don't just do a trial in the court of public opinion but help this so called lazy utumishi kwa wote of ours get to court and for once win a case. Knowing the Judiciary, the case will take years and even when gift wrapped for us, he will be acquitted on the incompetence of some chap from kiganjo who has received a massive clearance for the loan he had taken 5 years ago to buy the 2 ng’ombes and the eighth of an acre parcel of land that he wants to fit a house from Karen in the space of a buru buru plot.
Someone once described Kenya as the city in the sun housing hyenas, foxes and sheep. Where do you stand? To the Mpigs yet again, Utalipa Lini?
You have summarized it all!
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