Happy New Government

It’s been a while since I sat down to blog something and have truly missed the interactions following each blog. The reasons vary from laziness to creative block. Hopefully the new energized and trying to be more efficient I 2.0 will be typing them out as fast as you can read them. In addition, I will be taking a bit of a detour from the political themed and satirical blogs to those bordering on more day to day happenings.

I am a Kenyans Kenyan at heart. I believe in our country, its potential, people and endless beautiful scenery. The true if it’s free enjoy and don’t knock it person, one of accept and move on movement people. But, the mediocrity that is Kenya keeps making me want to scream out and ask at what time do we say enough is enough and draw a line in the sand? Being a man, we are not adept at screaming so you turn to your fellow bar patron and nod as you have a big swig of your whiskey. We all know how the elections went and the soap opera that came after that. It was as nail biting as an episode of 24 or Lost. We all sat glued to our Google set boxes (TVs) and watched each day with bated breath. When the curtains finally came down, it was jubilation for some and sour disappointment for others, depression for others and happiness for others. Then came the media and every other person who had found their voice, jamming down the accept ad move on mantra every 5 minutes as if Kenyans were about to degenerate into the debacle that was 2007PEV. In one of our proudest moments, Kenyans showed each other and the world that they are bigger than the selfishness of the political class that sings ballads and serenade us with words that would convince a Lion not to eat an antelope as they are bosom friends.

What transpired after accept and move on have been episodes of lunacy. First off, even before the MPs had taken office and started working they decided they wanted a major pay hike and gave the Kenyan electorate the middle finger. We all watched as they threatened and managed to hold the government ransom and the president just sat there with hollow words of please don’t. In which company or job do you rock up and demand a pay hike/ increase even before doing one day’s work? Next came the first scandal of the new government with the deputy president getting a private jet to jet set and visit some countries in West Africa that most Kenyans can’t pronounce or point out on a map. The total cost of the trip kama kawaida was pillowed and fattened by some fellow who pocketed some loose millions as pocket change for the whole fiasco. The usual denials followed and threats to the daily paper that broke the story that they will be sued if they don’t retract the story and apologize forthright but nothing came out of that when more information was put in the public domain for them to decide on its viability. Next a cabinet was named that made Kenyans think that a major change was coming and we were finally learning that professionalism in the way we run the country was finally here. Alas we were hoodwinked with some questionable characters and a vetting process that is now known as a giant rubber stamp commission.

As expected and envisioned, soon after the MPs oops Mpigs awarded themselves some extra pocket money, the nurses and teachers unions sat down and sharpened their knives for the inevitable kichinjiyo. When one sees a fattened animal on a farm, we always start thinking of the next meal. Thus a strike or two have been called and a couple of go slows put in motion. We have had and continue to have major security issues engulfing Kenya and teachers on extended holiday due to the strike they have called courtesy of the new militant face of KNUT known as General Sossion. He rekindles memories of the late Adongo who was the face and head of KNUT in years passed. Their gripe is that if over 50 billion Kenya shillings can be passed for project laptop then surely teachers who have suffered for years can also be sorted mara pap. The laptop for standard one children was a major selling point and campaign pledge for the current government no matter how impracticable and unattainable it is. I have nieces and nephews who are in standard one and nursery who loose like 5 pencils a week and their whole bag just to see how stressed a parent can get, what makes you think a standard one child will take care of a laptop? Secondly if you don’t pay the teachers who are meant to teach them how to use them or let alone own one so they know how to utilize one when they see one, how do you hope they will readily accept and implement the project when they are starving, walking to school and have no medical for their family? It is common knowledge that if you have major distractions in your life such as basic day to day survival, you will not concentrate and give the task in front of you your full 100%. In my opinion, the laptop project should have been geared towards the university and college students who need it more than the standard one kid plus the teachers so they can better impart knowledge. That said I can’t wait to see how my God daughter Emma, my niece Abby and my nephew Owuor (namesake) handle theirs next year when they are distributed.

Lastly we have the new face of get rich scheme handlers known as governors. They were elected and I don’t think they have a clue as to what their role is. Week one saw them set up camp and launch a supremacy battle between them and the county commissioners who they say are in office illegally. Next they waited for the government to take them for a retreat at the Great Rift Valley lodge only for them to hijack the event after the president’s address and say they want personalized number plates and flags on their cars. My God those are things a 4 year old should be grappling with and wanting on his toy cars. Next they decide they need big mansions in their areas, offices in Nairobi and create budgets that have reduced them to laughing stocks. Take the example of Kakamega governor and his cabinet that passed a budget for over 50 million in entertainment, 8 million for local travel and over 15million for pornography awareness. The excesses vary over the whole country from Kisumu governor wanting 72million for new prados for his cabinet, Busia governor 70million for a new mansion and Meru governor over 300million for new cars. Mr. GOVERNOR this is not your personal get rich kitty or personal account to live out your fantasy life. In the time it will take you to identify, buy the land and start building you will be out of office and enjoying your local brew under the shade of the tree in the corner of your small shamba wondering where everything went wrong. This is not to say they are all a sad bunch of Muppets. Some like Machakos governor Alfred (Alfie)Mutua of the cobra squad fame and former government spokesman , Nairobi governor Evans Kidero and Cyprian Awiti Homabay governor are doing a fantastic job and know why they are in office. We wish all the characters in this show known as “The Governors” all the best and hope sense prevails and they make devolution work. Remember Mr. Governor there is now a recall clause and it comes up in about 2-3 years and Wanjiku and Otieno are watching keenly.