EMPTY DRUMS MAKE THE MOST NOISE

It’s been a while since I scribbled something on this blog and as one of my friends recently made me aware, many believe it or not read my rambling and have a good hearty laugh about it with their colleagues in the office or in the bars.

Since I last had a chat with you the alcohol ban war has intensified and at the same time slowed down, meaning we got a reprieve then it was yanked and now we are in limbo as to weather we can have a drink while having a meal or not. Something to which some of my mates would describe as a serious mal nomaly because it is wrong to eat on an “empty stomach”. Why are we being punished because a few people or rather, some village has refused to do it’s duty and repopulate and do conjugal?

Recently we have been treated to last comic rallies sponsored by our politicians. The level of abuse and mediocrity that we have witnesses has hopefully opened our eyes to the kind of politicians we have. In society we are taught to have a modicum of decorum in both our thoughts and actions. We may conjure some thoughts and ideas that are provocative and may voice them only in our minds or houses but are not meant to be spoken in public but alas this evaded our so called leaders who are as crude as they come and hurl abuses that border on ethnic chauvinism, intolerant and hatred. If you have not ascended to the seat you so covert and speak in such a manner, who tells you Kenyans will be ready to put you in the house on the hill and withstand your abuses? The he said she said back and fourth that went on after, does not make a difference. You acted like a group of children when caught doing something wrong and want to pass the blame to another. If being responsible and taking the high road is beneath you at the moment, what happens when you have the full state machinery at your disposal and no one to stop you from showing us your arrogance? For the record even cause and effect retribution is still a disqualification for the CEO position of Kenya.

The Arab countries are still at it and raising the price of oil indirectly as a result. First there was Tunisia, then came Egypt and now Libya, with Yemen trying and the rest holding their breath, who is next? I came across a hilarious text sent then, stating “dear fellow Arabs, what happened in Egypt stays in Egypt, signed Arab dictators” apparently that was not heeded and the fire continues. In Kenya, social media decided to see what kind of clout it could muster and told us to honk our horns on Feb 28 at 1p.m then it turned to sing the national anthem, a feat I was shocked to see most Kenyans fail. Most of us do not know the national anthem, at least I sang and got lost in the second stanza which is not an excuse as I fall in the same miserable bunch of shallow Kenyans but I could see some people mumbling in the first stanza. We all need to download it and be made to sing it every time we are arrested by the police for any infringement. The social media then got a rude shock when people there after posted photos of them singing at the allocated date and time then started posting and tweeting, what next after this? Let me lend my voice to that chain of thought and say do you think the Baks or Agawambo or the parliamentarians cared or were trebling? Thus WHAT NEXT?

The DRC Congo has also been G4Sed. They have become a victim of another Goldenberg saga by Kenyans, of Kshs 8.6 billion stolen at the JKIA airport even before the KRA were even aware that such a colossal amount of gold was even present at the airport let alone the country. We then find out that some of our hyenas in higher offices and connected ones, are involved to the extent the Congo president Kabila made a trip to plead with Kibaki to tell his goons to return some chums so that they can at least by milk and bread as the form of githeri in Congo is monotonous. Give me 1% of that figure and see self actualization happen as I turn the amount into a retirement fund.

In other news one Kalonzo is off again on a second round of “talks” to convince the world that we, who did not and still do not have the capacity to try our own politicians let alone believe in our judiciary system, want to take a crack at it with the Ocampo 6 trials in Nairobi and not the Hague. Reason being it is better to be tried for crimes committed in the city in the sun rather than the city in the cold snow. My question is this, were the victims of PEV consulted as to this course of action or is it just to benefit the political elite and those who think they should be “presidents” due to the peasant mentality instead of reason and advancement in Kenya as a whole? Conversely, before the Kati Kati fellow left, he had been hogging the spotlight with his shenanigans and utterances pre 2007 general elections as he sipped chai with the US ambassador. Wikileaks recently gave Kenyans a rare insight into the mind of the man who claims to be able to lead Kenyans as “they were meant to be lead”. He likened Raila to Hugo Chavez a Chilean dictator of ill repute, referred to the baks as ill and mentally unstable fellow who needs to be in Mathare (coincidentally I hope you saw the CNN expose on Mathare last week) and, referred to himself as the better leader of the Kikuyus and Kenya at large. Yes, you did read that correctly, the Kambaa chap wanted to be the leader of two tribes on the way to being the Kenyan leader. He even went as far as saying if it did not go his way, he would be a spoiler and stand his ground until given the VP seat. A feat he adequately played and used as a bargaining tool while Kenya was on fire and his fellow Kenyans were dying. If this so called saved person can act like he did, imagine the atrocities he would commit if given the highest office in the land? A man who cannot sacrifice his ego for the betterment of Kenya, his fellow citizen, peace and stability in my opinion is not fit to lead even cockroaches in his house.

ODM has decided to discipline some of their wayward MP’s by threatening to expel them from the party, I say good riddance. How do you have employees who do not want to work for the good of the company but still want to enjoy the perks? I say get rid of the bunch, move on and show Kenya that you are ready to take the bull by the horns and do what is right for a change. I once said a wife cannot always be packing her bags and threatening to leave you everyday and you sit still looking at her actions. PNU on the other hand has joined forces with the ODM rebels and the deputy PM Ruto who now serves as a “consultant advisor” to the president. The farce that is Kenyan politics makes some of the sitcoms we watch look like a beginners play.

Lastly Makadara MP went to the bunge last week in shades and eye rings (bling) that not only raised alarms concerning his mental state and to what level he respects the house but, to show his arrogance to the house business and the people who elected him. No sooner had we had a laugh at his expense, we also saw him having a shouting competition with one Esther Murungi who went to distribute maragwe in his constituency and got a rude awakening by the MP. He shouted her and her team down and chased them away to go feed convicts with her beans, she was last seen running to her car and saying even she can shout loudly if demanded. Someone should tell Sonko parliament is not Skylux or Bacchus, grow up and represent the people who voted you in but, yet again Makadara you get the hooligan you wanted and voted for. Lesson here is be careful of the idiot you put to lead you.

As Martha Karua told Kenyans “ stop being over tolerant and force leaders to perform their duties”.